We hit the Jackpot!

The chance of winning the lottery is 1 in 302.5 million

The chance of making it to the Olympics is 1 in 1/2 a million.  

The chance in having a baby with Down syndrome is 1 in 700 babies.

The chance of a miscarriage in pregnancy is 1 in 4 pregnancies. 

How come God picked us to win the lottery with Rusk?  The day he was born we were told how he would get to compete in the Special Olympics and donations were made in his honor.  We never had dreamed of any of our kiddos competing in the Olympics :).  The differences of Down syndrome seemed scary at birth and now they only highlight how extra special God made him. From conception, this guy has been a fighter and God has such a plan for him.  From heart concerns to blindness corrected with surgery and contacts, this kid shows us everyday God's good gifts come in all packages!  

 

Eruption!

We lived on St. Vincent for 5 years and all of us have climbed the volcano, Brice too many times to count.   It's a truly beautiful place filled with tropical rainforest. In April of 1979, it erupted with the only casualty being a pig.  This April it erupted again and has been continuously over the last few days.

One of our students currently has family that live in the town near the volcano.  At the last minute, they were all able to get out.  The problem we are hearing from graduates and old neighbors is that because their water system is above ground, it has now all been contaminated with ash.  Stores are out of water now. 

These pictures are from here in Barbados.  For us, almost 100 miles away, we have received several days of darkened skies from the ash.  The ash has been accumulating and with a smattering of rain has made it messy and turned into a cement mixture.  We got a reprieve today and have started cleaning everything.  Our water is low now, and so orders have been not to use water unless needed.  But, it is hard to imagine being in the direct zone there and not even have drinking water, let alone water to clean out the ash! We keep praying for ways to help and for God to continue to provide for them.  

 

Departing As Best We Can

    We've said good-bye to every single person in our lives (except our children).   Teammates and students we've lived alongside flew away, family celebrations were routinely missed, and commonplace farewells don't bring on tears anymore.  Connections are kept through the internet and actual aunties and uncles abounded in personal form through church, neighbors, and friends here.

   I've read books and blogs and attended seminars, knowing how to move from another country well.  My college friend Melissa wrote an amazing book appropriately named, "Returning Well".  But in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, it's hard to put the plan into action.  

   When we were told by doctors and friends it wasn't possible to get one more year here, but God made a way.  He worked out flights, positive tests to help us not quarantine, (who would have ever thought getting COVID could be a good thing?), and a last year of great transition.  So we are clinging to that promise of giving Him our all, even when the situations change it into something else.  With the island being still mostly locked down, we can't say good-bye to our teammates, coaches, youth leaders, friends, homeschool group, etc.  Elbow tags are exchanged for hugs and thank-you's are being written instead of told.  

   A good friend challenged me when I needed answers that I should look at biblical examples first.  So, I found that Abraham, Jacob, and Ruth all left their homes willingly.  One to follow God's call, another to reunite with family, and the last to find hope and persevere.  As we move to a new adventure, which is also our home country after fifteen years, I am full of hope for our future and for the one here at WISE.  

For awhile now, we have been the foreigners.  Our kids were the ones you could pick out in a park of other kids with darker skin.  Our accents always gave us away for natives to ask where we came from.  It's ingrained in us to prefer timely and shorter events instead of all day events typically beginning hours late.  But, along the way, this part of the world changed us, grew us, and will forever be a part of who we are.  

   So, as we head back in the next month, the next part of our story begins soon.  Our kids will exchange hanging clothes out for a dryer, dishes being washed by hand will now be loading the dishwasher, and learning to drive will really happen on the right side of the road.  

   

"Live out your time as foreigners here in reverent fear." 1 Peter 1:17

Truly, we are all foreigners, choosing each day to do our best and give all we can!  In word and  action, we serve the Lord, being thankful for Him and all He has given us!

Thanks for all your support over the years!

Fashioned by the Master

 “He’s still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient He must be. He’s still working on me. 

There really ought to be a sign upon my heart: “Don’t judge me yet; there’s an unfinished part.” But I’ll be perfect just according to His plan, fashioned by the Master’s loving hand.”

I have loved this song since I was little.  I know some couples have songs.  Neither Brice nor I are big dancers, so we never had a song.  Some close family friends of ours had the song of "My God is so Big" as their theme song.  And their precious little guy would sing it all the time before he passed away at too young of an age. When I hear that song, I always think of him and God's strength in their lives.  

This has become our family song, and for sure my song!  I see constantly things I need to work on.  My patience with my kids, my anger when things are not done right, my worrying over things (as my dad would say 90% never even materialize of what we worry on), and on and on.  I am so thankful God is patient and loves me still.  I am so thankful that even after 40 years He is not done with me yet.  

And I am so thankful for our 6 big gifts he gave us in our kids.  Each of them are so different and special and every one of them was fashioned exactly by God with no mistakes!

  

Special Life Month

         

This month is Pregnancy and Infant Loss and also Down syndrome Awareness month.  Both are so dear to our hearts.  They are what we pray for, fight for, and vote on.  For us, we have had two miscarriages.  One was further along where we delivered at home and already even at the end of the first trimester we could see where the tiny eyes were starting to grow and the body forming.  Already a life!  

Because of our new little guy and all the joy he brings us, we have learned so much about him and others born with DS.  We did not know before that he would be born with it, and even if we had it would not have changed us having him.  In fact, most of our friends that knew beforehand, they were asked and even encouraged to not go though with the births.  In fact, a pediatric doctor we know said in the the last ten years he has not had one patient with Down Syndrome as a patient.  Yet, before ten years ago he always had several.  You can figure out why, they abort them.  

They say about 67% of babies with DS who receive a pre-natal diagnosis in the US are aborted.  Even more heartbreaking if it can be is that Iceland is 100% of babies aborted with DS.  Denmark is 98%, the UK is 90%, and France is 78%.

I found a group here in Barbados of Down Syndrome families.  Suprisingly there are lots of kids here with DS, but they don't abort here either.  They don't have any events here, and since we cant have attend the DS walk in KC this year since we are here, we decided as a family to put one on here.  We made fliers, kids wanted to pass out balloons, share signs on the walks of spreading kindness and celebrating life, and sharing cupcakes with others.  Then, we were told as foreigners that wouldn't be okay to do since it wasn't their idea.  Honestly, we were pretty disappointed as any way for us to share in celebration with others over how amazing kids are makes us excited, but we agreed to not celebrate in public.  So, we are walking as a family privately next week.  And maybe next year they will want to take on the idea as they own.

We will always celebrate life!  Thank you, God!

A Journey of Unknowns

We started our trip back to Barbados. Flights were constantly being canceled and so the only reliable flights to get into Barbados at this time were through Air Canada or British Airways from London.  Air Canada is always the cheapest airways and $269 for a ticket here is a great price, but it means overnighting in the airport and extra hours in the plane.  We decided to go for it.  We had gotten COVID weeks back as it passed through our whole family and decided to test to get back. (Barbados says if you Are from America you must have one to travel).  Brice tested positive.  We all tested and the kids and I were all positive, but Brice was then negative.  We waited two weeks and again tested.  This time Brice was positive again and we were all negative.  Brice tested again and and we all got on the plane.  Honestly in talking with MU Health and the Home Health doctors who call you they all thought our cases were super rare.  

We were told from the heads of the department:

-we don't really know anything about this virus

-tests have a 30% margin for error

-there's only one documented case for reoccurrence so soon after

- for 90 days we can keep testing positive

- only the first 2 weeks are we contagious (thankfully, friends:)

So, we traveled.  Stayed all night in the Canada airport and on arrival to Canada we talked to some agents who told us everything there in the international hall would close at 8:30p.m. We arrived at 8:15 after an escort through customs to not escape.  I don't think there was anyway of secretly doing that with all our luggage, kids, and stroller.  We quickly asked agents the best place to sleep that could be quiter for the kids and 3 agents showed us an empty hall we could attempt to rest in for the night.  After several hours of trying to get all 6 down with pillows made from travel clothes and masks covering eyes from the bright lights, they were all somewhat asleep for maybe a half hour and then a supervisor came and told us at 12:30 we would have to locate to another hall as that one was being closed for cleaning.  I asked if there was any way we could stay since waking up all of them and lugging everything to another corridor would be a nightmare and if they could clean around us, but he shook his head and just stood there pointing.  So, we packed up, woke everyone up, and moved.  That man obviously has never had kids. And then we got on the plane again after a very long night.

This little guy loved his first plane ride! (Please disregard unwashed & unbrushed hair and teeth. We all stunk!)

We made it to Barbados!  We had to show our negative tests that took a miracle to get to the doctor there.  This was so hard to get as a doctor friend worked so hard getting them for us and checking for results constantly.  I think he worked his 70 hours in 2 days helping us.  He emailed us the results he got.  But unfortunately official results take 4-5 days and they dont usually give you the lab results.  So, we just had the emails stating if we were positive or negative.  When we showed our papers to the doctor here after all that, she just said, "Where are you from?" After she heard the US - she immediately said you have to get tested.  I asked if she could look at our tests since we worked so hard, and she would not even glance at them.  It would have been nice to know even though the rules say you must arrive with a negative test, that it is pointless and we could have at least saved the kids from getting tested then.  But, at least we knew we were negative flying.  So, we waited with all the other Americans traveling whose tests were rejected too.  We finally got to leave to go to a hotel around midnight.  And then realized no elevators or ramps, so had to climb two flights of stairs with stroller, limp toddlers, and all the luggage.  And collapsed until temperature and room checks started in the morning.

They have 10 hotel options you can stay at from $61 a night to $10,000 a week.  You can have a meal option for $125 a person delivered to you, but thanks for friends and food we packed we are set.  The most expensive gives your your own pool, what a dream, huh.  We chose the lower end :). But it has the most amazing view, even though we can't swim or leave the room.  The littles don't quite understand not able to get in.  But they were so happy to not sleep with bright lights on their eyes.   We can hear the taxis passing by honking and smell the ocean air and it feels like home!

The Bajan people have been amazing.  We were given food, fruit, many promises tests would be done in few minutes (a nice way of saying hours ha), and another friend had her friend in customs deliver some needed feminine toiletry products.  Coaches, school friends here, and new friends here have been such a blessing!  We so appreciate all the thoughts and prayers and messages, internet is kind of spotty so we write when we can.

Here's pictures of meals today....WISE friends sent beloved cheese paste sandwiches, eggs, & forgotten shampoo!  We can't wait to hug them!  And then a sweet friend from CO sent us food to get by before we left - so we had oatmeal for breakfast & tuna for lunch!  She even included two schoolbooks, since all of ours are in our house and when we left and finished school last year we thought we'd back in June, so had no clue it would be Sept to be able to get back to our books.  

Our biggest praises - we are all together, on home soil, and healthy!  Our biggest prayer - they called this morning and Beckett and Paxson's tests showed that they have something in their blood.....they are not sure if old COVID residue hanging on or new.  (Obviously old because we had it)  But makes sense they have to be sure, so they drew samples from the boys - we are praying it is old so we can get out of here by Friday or Saturday or Sunday if it takes test results to come back a bit.  We are just praying the results show that.  If not, they said boys will go to holding facility on other side of island and Brice can go with them to quarantine with others with COVID.  

 Thanks, friends...

 

Special Gift Delivery

Months ago (5 to be exact) I went into labor 3 weeks early, which for me is full-term.  We had no clue some special terms would be given to him.  There was no prenatal warning, nor to be honest would I have wanted one.  In fact, our doctors in Barbados said he is so active, for sure has nothing wrong with him medically.  Then, our doctor in the states said he saw no signs of anything since he doesn't have the traditional foot gap most DS kids have.  

A few hours after checking in at the hospital under COVID measures, (no guests allowed and masks donned- sorry, I hate masks, I really do get headaches after wearing them.  And so trying to labor is hard enough and then add a mask on that keeps slipping off.) Anyways, he came super fast and they whisked him away and the nurses keep whispering and all was so quiet.  We kept asking if he was okay and no one would really answer.  I finally asked if I could hold him, and when they laid him on my chest, and I saw his different shaped ears and his almond eyes....I knew.  

I was terrified, worried for the future, scared of the unknown.  I leaned over to Brice and said, "He doesn't look just like us or like our others.  Something's wrong." Brice patted my hand, said it's fine, he's fine.  He's always a rock and from day one was in love with our newest little guy.  But I looked up to the doctor and nurses and said what I didn't want to know, "He has Down syndrome, doesn't he?"  And they said.....we think so.  That's it, nothing else was said and they asked if they could take him to run some tests.  And I knew then without further tests, he did.  I just didn't know at the time that DS can bring so much joy, laughter, and add so much more to all our lives than I ever imagined or prayed for.  At that moment, I just wanted a healthy baby that I knew how to raise and nothing to be different.  I wanted safe and not to be stretched and I am so very thankful we have a God who wants more than that for me and all of us.

I have always wanted a big family and babies!  Obviously we love them (we have 6!).  Brice kept agreeing but after 5 he was ready to be done, but agreed we could have one more to even up the JV with our Varsity.  He loves our kids, but he looks forward to the days when they are raised and he and I can travel and do post-kid things too.  I can't believe in those first few moments of Rusk's birth, I thought....what have I done, I should have stopped at 5.  Now, we will always have him with us and never have time for ourselves.   I'd give anything now to go back and yell or whisper to my just given birth, high hormonal body that lay sobbing on the hospital bed that life with Rusk added in was going to be amazing and not to be scared.  I hope to one day be able to help in educating hospital staff how to sweetly congratulate a parent that her child has been given a new baby, instead of scaring them and saying nothing.  Because that is what he was - a brand new baby to be celebrated.  

The hospital was small - ran several tests and told us his heart was enlarged and he needed to be sent to a bigger hospital for more tests.  So within a few hours of a new world, he was taken by ambulance to another hospital and they discharged me early to go be with him.  Barely walking and my eyes so swollen they couldn't even open up a slit, we left there.  Honestly, those first 24 hours all I remember is sobbing, choking, wailing, praying.  I recall someone mentioning my faith was weak at that point and honestly all I remember was feeling God's arms around me and crying out to him.  We could not have went through everything without the Lord in our lives is all I know.

After that each appointment and each Doctor's visit there were and are so many high's and low's.  In fact, we think that will be a given from now on.  We were told his heart was enlarged, and after several echo's and cardiologists, he has a hole but it can be addressed later.  News came of him having another disorder, but those tests came back falsely positive.  Then, we were told he was blind, to later discover they were cataracts.  Surgery removed them and he can see so well now!  And then just this past week, he failed hearing in the right ear and after more extensive tests, he can hear fine.  Whew, being thrown in the ringer or stampeded on by bulls is what some days feel like for sure.

I am not just saying this - if you don't know anyone in your life with DS - find someone.  I didn't.  And man, was I missing out.  Our little guy is still just a teeny thirteen pounds, but his smiles are pure heaven.  DS kids tend to have low muscle tone and be floppy, so he just is super scrunchy and contented and loves to be cuddled.  Ask me and you can get some of those cuddles, for sure!  And I can tell you way more facts and lovable things about him too.  I didn't have anyone in my life with DS before this year really and I can't believe how much I missed out.  We now have newer friends in our lives with DS that are older than Rusk,  and it's been a blessing to see their excitement and sweetness and also extreme stubbornness:)  We have so much to look forward to in years to come.  In fact, another dream is to add another little DS buddy to our family through adoption, but that's another story and maybe another husband since mine is on kid overload.  

Now, I look at our gift and think I will miss so much if he ever leaves us...

and those almond eyes that opened and scared me so much that first day of life

I am in so much love with...

and I am so very thankful God made him just the way He is 

and while I want to protect him from ugly things in this world, 

I also want him to meet so many to change the world so everyone can see that 

Different is Amazing too!